End of Life Guide

I am here to stand beside and deeply hold my fellow humans as they return to the earth. I work with those facing the end of life and their families to support them emotionally, spiritually, educationally, and physically. I am here to provide a gentler path as we engage on this ancient journey together. I promise to be honest and bring open compassion. 

With a deep sense of our interconnectedness, I offer my awareness, my knowledge, and my emotional support as we walk together through this process.

Those involved in the day-to-day unfolding of death can feel very isolated. I am here to diminish this feeling, and provide support for everyone involved. As an End of Life (EOL) guide, I am here to hold and ease this transition.

EOL guides provide support and comfort to the dying person and their family in many different ways. In this unfamiliar territory, all the demands, decisions and details can become overwhelming. Often the family gets so consumed by the physical needs of the patient that they don’t take time to think about how the patient wants their dying process to look. The family’s focus can easily shift to the physical care of the dying, as they hold back their emotions to just get through the logistics. An EOL guide can help assist the family so that they can be present and focus on their loved one. Most often working with a guide is recommended for patients with less than one year remaining. 

Whether it be discussing vigil details, helping set up a meal schedule for friends, or working through the natural fears and unknowns of death with patients and their families, an EOL guide provides a wide range of support. I am available to work on legacy projects, help facilitate difficult talks, lead guided visualizations, help create and hold rituals, provide funeral assistance, and I am even happy to run small errands as needed. I am here to organize and align everyone’s goals to minimize hurt feelings and work out unspoken assumptions. I am here to witness, encourage, and reassure everyone that everything is going exactly how it should be. I am here to serve you in any capacity I am able.

Using an EOL guide encourages the dying person and their loved ones to accept their fears and honestly explore the experience of dying. It introduces people to a sense of sacredness in relation to the dying process. This exploration can help establish how the dying person may want the space around them to look and feel in the last days of their life. I am happy to discuss your situation and options at an initial consultation meeting, free of cost. 

Thank you for considering me to help guide you through this journey. 

I am here to honor you and your family’s wishes in this process.

In companionship, Sarah Hitman

 THINGS I DO:

-nurture, inform, support, empower, comfort, and guide patient 

-support caregivers and family in any way I can

-align family and support team for ease

-create structure & open communication for all

-make referrals: estate planners, funeral homes, hospice support, etc.

-guided visualizations or meditations to relieve stress & anxiety 

-spend time with patient, creating relief for support group 

-support patient with safe space to talk about hard topics

-inform clients about legal and medical paperwork you may want

-assist in opening the channels of communication to have tough conversations

-discuss with family and patients end of life projects or celebrations 

-offer a wide variety of ceremonies and rituals to support this transition

-offer energy work and spiritual support

THINGS I DO NOT DO: 

-perform medical/clinical tasks, such as administer medication or take vitals

-give advice or try to persuade you on what you SHOULD do

-impose my beliefs or values on the situation

 The journey towards death is one’s most vulnerable time. If we are willing to stop and consider how we want to approach death, this act can make a significant difference for everyone involved. Below is a sequence of guidelines that aid in preparation for the closing period of your life. Examining and looking inward can sometimes be tough but taking the time to do it can be very powerful. Below you will find the model used to move through the dying process.

The Road to a Peaceful End

LEGAL GUIDANCE

This is a discussion about the legal options available,  helping make this process  smoother and healthier process. Subjects discussed include your will, your assets, details in relation to power of attorney, trusts and annuities, all aspects of financial concern may be addressed. I do strongly suggest having a legal Health Advocate.

Working with a reputable estate lawyer is also highly recommended. 

MEDICAL NAVIGATION 

Medical navigation is all about your medical rights and understanding how you medically want your care handled. Do you have a medical health care agent or a legal Health Advocate? Do you need or want one? Do you have a DNR? Have you filled out your MOST (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment) form? If you are alive but unable to make medical decisions about yourself, do your friends and family clearly understand what your wishes are? 

Communication is a vital key to creating the end of life situation you want. 

EMOTIONAL GROUNDWORK

Making sure we are emotionally healthy is the most important step in preparing for death. Remembering who we are and what we stand for is a big piece of the legacy we leave behind. Legacy work is a wonderful opportunity to review your life and acknowledge what is important to you in life. Some of us need to see and feel the value of our lives and others need to make amends. Legacy work can be writing letters to your loved ones to receive after you pass . . . legacy work can be a celebration of life party where you let your loved ones celebrate you and share time together one last time . . . legacy work can be a photo album with your memories so that future generations can hear your voice and feel your perspective when you are gone. I have seen the beautiful healing process that happens when we are willing to reflect on our lives and share that with the ones we love most.

LAST TRANSITION 

The last days are often called the vigil stage. The word vigil means ‘guarded watch’. This is approximately the last week or two of life. The vigil is centered around what you want your last days to look like. Where do you want to be when you die? Who would you like to be there? Do you want music? Do you want candles or flowers? What aspects are important to you? Does your religious practice have traditions we should honor? Is there a certain energy you want people to bring to the space when you are nearing death? Do you want the space to be quiet and serene or would you prefer a light, energetic feel to the room? This is the last thing you will do, let’s make sure it’s how you want it. 

FINAL RESTING OPTIONS

For some people, traditions or beliefs can dictate what we would like to happen with our remains. For others we may explore available options and what effect those options will have on the earth.

Considering what is important to your loved ones or knowing what your rights are in your local state can be a big part of the process. Taking the burden of making these decisions off your family is a beautiful gift.

HONORING OF LIFE CEREMONY

Also known as a funeral this event can look like anything you can imagine. Many people choose a traditional funeral and that can have many positive benefits. Sometimes a person will take another route and prefer to be honored through a big party or an End of Life Celebration BEFORE they die. 

How do you want to be honored? Where do you want to be honored? I have a working playlist on Spotify called “End of Life Party” . . . just so there’s a final record of my top 100 all-time favorite songs. :) 

ADDRESSING GRIEF

This last piece about the people you are leaving behind and how you can make this transition easier for them. The recapping and honoring of your life will play a big role in the healing process. Discussing this time for them and acknowledging how they are going to feel when you are gone can mean peace in the future for your family. Often by doing the emotional groundwork phase we can help lessen the weight of grief for those who love us most. Communicating what we want to them and then allowing our family to provide that reality for us can make this whole transition smoother. 

 END OF LIFE GUIDE - BASIC OFFERING: $2400

INTRODUCTION MEETING (free 1 hr) -brief, hour or less, outline of offerings, contract and payment exchange

GETTING ACQUAINTED MEETING (2-3 hrs)                

-doing intake form together

-in depth meeting getting to know the patient, family and situation 

-going over worksheets, resources, and additional offerings

WEEKLY VISITS (24 hrs, estimating 2 hrs a week for 12 wks)   -I will check in weekly for 1-2 hours, depending on what we’re working on  -these visits we will talk about how things are going, focusing on mental perspectives and resources available  -we can also spend time on visualizations or legacy projects or funeral guidance/burial options -vigil planning, discussing & planning what your ideal situation would be

-creating obituary, allows the client to be remembered how they want to be (very empowering)

-I usually have a zoom meeting with the support group 1-3 times a month for alignment

-travel outside of a 10 mile radius will be charged a current, local mileage rate -in general, school hours of 9am-3pm is the time I am most available 

DIGITAL SUPPORT      -text and email all day, every day, within reason

-I will create a google spreadsheet to track any concerns to things to discuss. This document helps keeps everyone on the same page and keeps a clear line of communication open

-I also usually ask my support team to participate in a group texting app to help keep down repeating important information


HOLDING VIGIL (approx. 20 hrs) -as the passage nears I will be spending more time with the patient, depending on the patient’s needs and support network -during this time, I will be there as much as I am able  -option of EOL guide being there all day, every day during the active dying phase

**please note adding around the clock service during the vigil phase is not included in this base price. I am happy to work with others to develop pricing that works for everyone.** 

FINAL BLESSING (after passage) 

LOGISTICS OF REMOVAL (after passage) -contacting and coordinating of doctor/coroner/funeral home

REPROCESSING and EARLY GRIEF (3 hrs) -provided through in person meetings and phone conversations -help with the confusion and unbalanced feeling that comes with change

The cost of the basic offering, $2400, breaks down to 40 hours at $60 an hour. As we are approaching the 40 hours I will let you know and you can decide at that time if you would like to add additional hours at $40 an hour. I will record every visit on a time sheet that you welcome to see at any time. I will record my hours on a shared document for all.

ADDITIONAL OFFERINGS 

LEGACY PROJECTS    -can be a scrapbook, a shadow box, photo project, a film, etc.  -allows the dying to know they have left a bit of themselves & helps survivors continue to connect with the person who has passed

LIFE CELEBRATION CEREMONY -planning and preparation of event -a celebration of who you are through pictures, stories, music, food, art -I can help provide local resources & creative ideas for this ceremony

LIFE REVIEW RECORDING

-interview, includes question prep, actual recording, and administration of recordings -personal recordings that are easily sent to family & friends in the future -2 hours of recorded questions and answers  -5 copies of interview provided to the family via flash drive 

LETTER WRITING   -an opportunity to put your thoughts in writing to those you love -a chance to send messages for events you may not be at in the future

LAST WISHES RECORDING -written and or verbal record of any message you may want to leave to be heard when you are no longer here

MEMORY BOOK   -a simple book with a lifetime of memories

CREATING A SPIRIT BUNDLE -wrapped collection of sacred items given to a designated carrier with instructions  -old custom in many cultures and a beautiful, respectful tradition

CREATING SACRED SPACE -included in basic package-a specified space with be pictures, candles, flowers, sacred objects or offerings  -takes the form of a live altar leading to a pathway or portal -designed together by client, family, and doula 

DEATH BLESSINGS CEREMONY (with family and friends beforehand) -this can be specific to your practice or religion

If you decide to add on additional offerings the rate of these services is $60 per hour plus cost of supplies if required.

I do work on a sliding scale, am open to trades, and will not refuse service to anyone with lack of means.

I am happy to create a custom package for you that includes any and all services I provide, including additional offerings, additional hours, or any other combination of services that is mutually agreeable. All packages must be agreed upon in writing by all parties.

 Thank you for considering me to help guide you through this journey. 

I am here to honor you and your family’s wishes in this process.

In companionship, Sarah Hitman